Finding an authentic approach to an online presence.

One of the main things that throws me out of balance is the digital world.

I regularly feel that there is something about social media and digital marketing I do not like. I find it can feel noisy, pushy, opinionated, corporate and advert driven.

In this article I share with you how I decided to take what is known as the "Quiet" or "Mindful" marketing approach to an online presence.

• The Good, Bad and Ugly

• Questions I ask when using a site

• Starting my Blog

• Finding a Different Way

• How I Now Use Social Media

• References

Contents:

When I say I don't like social media what I actually mean is, I don’t like what social media has become. Ultimately, social apps appear to be more of an advertising tool than a way to help people to stay connected with each other. I appreciate that, like commercial TV, these companies would not be in business if adverts weren’t there. Without adverts, it is the user that would end up paying.

The Good, Bad and Ugly

"The world is changed by your example,

And that is what I feel is just the bad. The ugly side is the hatred that it can encourage. I wonder why many feel it is ok to be abusive in comments sections and say things that they probably would not say to someone face to face. The comments sections reveal a lot about how diverse opinion can be. It brings to mind the Paulo Coelho quote, "the world is changed by your example, not your opinion"(1). Dave Gorman's "Found Poems" in his show Modern Life is Goodish, offers an alternative lighter hearted viewpoint of what is often found in comments sections (2).

While there is a darker side, the good is that they have a huge potential to do something more positive. For instance, there are numerous Facebook groups that provide vital links within communities. There are those that promote sustainable practices or facilitate charitable recycling initiatives. Some provide essential support for individuals with health conditions, offering resources, shared experiences, and connections that can significantly enhance their well-being.

not by your opinion.” (Paulo Coelho)

Hands up. I do have social media accounts and I have been managing the Facebook and Instagram pages for a charity for over 10 years. From a charity perspective, it is invaluable at raising awareness. What they definitely are, is time consuming and sometimes emotionally draining.

I had already decided a few years back not to be dictated to by Facebook in how to use it. Currently I try not to be drawn in to the Home feed and go straight to Favourites and Friends feeds. I also avoid adverts as much as I can.

This is not so easy all the time though. At the start of 2025 my world was being hit by a few curve balls. My phone apps gave me exactly what I needed, a distraction. By the end of January I had got sucked in to game apps, their interactive adverts and doom scrolling. I am sure that I could have found a distraction in many things. Last year I channeled it in to more constructive activities, like writing down draft ideas for this blog. There has recently been some interesting research by the London School of Economics and Political Science, which has studied how much of a distraction mobile phones can be. (3).

• Why am I using this site?

• What is it I want to get from the site?

• Is it enhancing my life?

• Can I delete/unfollow those people, pages, groups, apps that are not enhancing my life or are taking my time away from other things?

• Can I sign up to newsletters of sites I love instead? (I created an email alias to manage them as I have a few now).

• Can I find this product without the affiliate link?

Here are some questions I ask to see if a site is right for me:

When I decided to create a blog, I initially researched the "How To" and "Best Way" to blog. I even did an online course about blogging.

While it taught me the basics, it was advocating looking at top trends, putting a few words about one of them in to an AI site, getting it to write the article for you and posting it on your site. As a result, you could have a blog site up and running in minutes. Did you know there are niche generator sites that can direct you to unique topics so you can be the first to blog about something, directing more people to your website? At that point I switched off. It left me feeling uncomfortable. It feels inauthentic and lacks integrity.

Starting my Blog

Firstly, there is AI. My grammar isn't the best and it is apparently advisable to write in an impassive rather than passive voice. I like to write as I would talk. I do find though, that sometimes I just can't articulate my thoughts in to words or find suitable synonyms. So for some paragraphs, I have used the AI writing tool provided by my hosting site as guidance. So AI can be helpful.

However, what I have not done is write a few key phrases, then copied and pasted it in to a page word for word and claimed it as my own. I have now started to get a feel of where an AI writing tool has been used on sites. They are unnecessarily wordy and use long sentences. I wrote a few draft sentences about task management and then put that in to the AI writing tool to see the difference:

My Paragraph:

I find that when a job seems difficult and overwhelming, I like to break it into smaller tasks. I liken it to doing a jigsaw puzzle. Separating all the pieces in to what looks familiar. I can then do the corners, edges and any large features or colours like the sky, water, or the main subject in the picture. So when I have pulled all the features together, I complete the whole picture (task).

AI Paragraph:

When faced with a job that appears difficult and overwhelming, I often find it helpful to break it down into smaller, manageable tasks. I compare this strategy to assembling a jigsaw puzzle. I start by sorting the pieces into familiar groups, which allows me to focus on specific sections. I tackle the corners and edges first, followed by larger features and distinct colors—like the sky, water, or the central subject of the image. By methodically assembling these components, I can gradually bring the entire picture together. This approach not only makes the task less daunting but also provides a satisfying sense of progress as I unify all the elements to complete the overarching goal.

Then there is the magnitude of guidance out there of the “right way” to have an online presence, how to market yourself and what has to go on the Home or About page of your website. If I followed all of this guidance, on the one hand I would be advocating managing the things in life that can put our energy out of balance. On the other, be ok with using language and styles that aren't my own and corporate marketing practices on social media sites to promote what I do.

So, I have been compelled to find a more authentic way.

Finding a Different Way

On reflection, maybe I am not so at ease with self-promotion. Although, that is probably what led me to consider starting a blog in the first place. It was not with the aim of marketing myself. I wanted to allow people who want to work with me a glimpse of who I am and what I do.

When I talk to others in the field of complementary medicine, most tell me that they are most successful when relying on word of mouth. That is, being in the community, meeting others and having those everyday conversations. Through this they share who they are and what they do. The beauty of word of mouth is, it gives people back their autonomy of making a decision about where they want to invest their time reading.

I browsed the internet to see if there was anyone out there who felt the same.

1. Dani Gardner - Quiet Marketing (4).

2. Soul and Self Blog (5).

3. Brilliant Author (6).

As soon as I started to read what they are about, I found myself saying “Yes, thank goodness it is not just me”.

After searching for a while and trying to put the right words in the search bars, here is what I found:

What they all advocate is doing online presence and marketing in your own way. Doing what is comfortable for you.

Can there be the best of both worlds with word of mouth and social media? I think it is possible. I try to make it work for me and not allow it to dictate to me how to use it.

It is ok to be different and go against what is trending or “should” be done.

This is why I do not have accounts for Sense of Energy with Instagram, Facebook, X or TikTok. I am on Pinterest and Kofi. I personally find Pintrest easier to navigate around the adverts and those things you don't want. So sharing my articles there feels like they can be found by those who they resonate with. It is then up to the reader whether they share or save my articles. It also leaves me a bit of freedom to promote anything I do quietly, at my own pace. I am on Kofi for an easier way to follow me. There I can share posts, products, freebies or events in one place, whilst potentially funding my work without the use of affiliate links.

How I Now Use Social Media

What I like most is that it is an approach that goes with my gut. I have found that if I don’t follow that, I lose flow, focus, passion and maybe integrity. Approaching blogging this way, I feel lighter, less restricted, more authentic and my energy stays in balance.

I cannot give a definitive guide of how best to use Social Media and may be no-one ought to.

To find a way that is right and comfortable for you is surely the best way.

References:

1. Quotation Celebration (6 Aug 2018) : Paulo Coelho: "The World Is Changed By Your Example, Not Your Opinion"

2. Dave TV Channel/ U Streaming (2013 - 2025): "Dave Gorman - Modern Life is Goodish"

3. The New Scientist (28 March 2025): "Distracted by your phone? Putting it out of reach may not help"

4. Dani Gardner - Quiet Marketing. "A calm minimal approach to business and online visibility for highly sensitive solopreneurs"

5. Soul and Self Blog. "Receptive vs penetrative marketing (there is a gentler, more inward way for sensitive souls to share online)"

6. Brilliant Author. "What is Mindful Marketing?"

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